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While admittedly this looks hot as hell on TV, it’s actually a lot of work for both of us. Or perhaps you prefer “the oil driller,” because that’s exactly what this position looks like he’s doing.

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He’s sitting up and she’s straddling him and everything is all close and intimate -- but you’re not really going anywhere and very little is actually happening.

There’s not enough room for the movements that need to occur for either of you to climax.

Especially before you improvise an unwanted 69 session.

This is seriously one of the worst sexual positions ever, and whoever invented it didn’t invent a sex position so much as the beginning of an awkward conversation.

The lap dance works with him sitting in an armless chair, while she straddles him with both her feet on the floor.

With the assistance of his hands on her hips, she can use her legs to achieve the desired “up and down” motion.

Plus it feels naughtier than just straight missionary, which you know you like, you wild thing, you! She’s lying on her side with her legs out at a 90-degree angle to form an “L” shape (duh). Have her lie on the the bed almost in missionary, while he kneels between her legs.

He raises her lower back with his hands and supports her hips that way.

So spooning during sex can only be awesome, which, spoiler alert, it is. Ahhh, classic doggy style -- arguably one of women’s most favorite positions the world over.

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